Get off my lawn you damn kids
Going for a run

Expectation:

Reality:

There must be hundreds of hours of store security footage of me heading straight to the candy aisle

Pretending to work when the teacher walks by

If you don’t let me eat

When people don’t eat all of their food right away

When someone tells you your zipper is down

When the bitch you hate touches you

Home alone + strange noise in the other room = Ninja mode activated

You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment.

When a teacher tells a joke

Being a badass musician

Expectation:

Reality:

Running from someone

Expectation: 

Reality: